I can pick spiders out the bath without a worry.
Creepy crawlies in the garden don't bother me and
wasps and bees can simply buzz on by. It doesn't
matter if it's got 10 legs or 100, whether it's
black, brown or green and orange stripes. Whether
it runs, crawls, flies or walks sideways with a
hop - insects do not bother me one but. Not a
jot. In fact, there is one beetle I'm
particularly fond of, the ladybird, and I decorate
my house with ornaments in their image in the same
way that others might collect Lladro or Swiss
crystal. Once, at the age of 6, I even set up my
own ladybird farm in the hope of breeding them but
unfortunately they died after a few days, when I
forgot to put air holes in the lid of the jam jar
I kept them in. Creepy crawlies I like, but it's
the long, slimy, greasy worms, snakes, maggots and
molluscs without a backbone that sends a shiver
down my own. I sometimes wonder if
the French loaf evolved because someone took a
fancy to an eel sandwich one day, but I couldn't
stomach it. I really do like the natural world
and apart from the things mentioned above, there
isn't much in the animal kingdom that I wouldn't
give a pat on the nose to. In the past, I've
owned cats, fish and birds but my life now is one
of chaos and dog hair in the shape of Paddy, my
Old English Sheepdog. Now, I'm no expert on OES
or dogs in general, so little did I realise when I
first decided I would like to hear the patter of
tiny feet around the house that they would soon
grow to belong to an 11 month old puppy weighing
just under 100lbs. Never having had a dog before,
I thought they
would be like cats, and come in the self-cleaning
variety, no such luck. And phew... the smell!
(Although I think the dog is used to me
now.......) OES are one of the more boisterous
breeds of dog, requiring a lot of energy,
attention and grooming and in return you get
drooling affection and extreme loyalty. He's
eating me out of house and home and growing in
leaps and bounds these days. I take him to (what
I laughingly call) "obedience" classes where he's
known as the class clown because he adores
attention from all sources and would much rather
run amok and have people chase him than sit on the
floor and perform the "down", "sit" and "stay" and
often succeeds in encouraging the other dogs to be
naughty too, much to the chagrin of their owners.
When he does the exercises correctly,
he often slips on the polished floor of the
training hall, falls face down and starts spinning
wildly with a delightful surprised expression on
his face, looking for all the world like a stuffed
toy atop a woolen rug. While waiting for his turn
to get on the floor and do his "sit" he once fell
in love with a springier spaniel called Rosie,
patiently licking her ears and cleaning her eyes
until the trainer parted them both. At the end of
a busy day, when all I want to do is come home,
switch on the TV and lay comatose on the sofa,
Paddy will be there, reminding me of my duty to
him, pleading at me with his
fur covered eyes, snuffling his big black nose on
my leg while pulling me out into the snow and the
ice, the fog and the rain, to take him for a run
around the park, a walk around the block. Having
an OES is just like having a big daft kid around
the house, one who wants to play chase with you
all day rather than sit down and be quiet in the
corner, but he's the best thing that ever happened
to me.
Glenda Young is also the authoress of the
weekly Coronation
Street Update on the net, and can be contacted at:
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